DAYS 22 AND 23: JANSEN’S KALAHARI GUEST FARM
We had a pleasant drive to this game farm and loved sitting under the awning of our caravan watching the animals pass us by. It was good to be back where the sand was red and the hospitality of the farmer was both warm and inviting.
We chose to spend our second day there, simply resting and enjoying the ambiance. We even treated ourselves to a full breakfast at the restaurant. It was also good to have WIFI to connect with our family again and to catch-up on simple chores, like the handwashing and clearing the caravan of as much dust as was possible.
I wrote an email to my mother in which I mentioned that I was feeling very vulnerable about publishing this travelogue on my website and as I pressed the send button, I realised that I had begun the third step of The Go(o)dman’s journey. I had moved forward into judgement. This is the last card, the third stage, of the process that I have been exploring since I had that dream on our first night at Amanzi. I was getting closer to the core issue.
I had just closed the last gate on our way out of Jansen’s Kalahari Guest Farm, when I felt a very familiar gentle energy surround me.
Many years ago, I began to read books about Mary Magdalene and grew to love and respect this most beloved disciple of Jesus. Research by some of the authors that I had read, proposed that it was probable that she was married to Jesus. This hypothesis was based largely on the cultural norms of that time. My interest in this theory introduced me to the Sisterhood of the Crimson Veil.
They were a community of Hebrew women who were humanitarians, teachers and healers. Most of them were identified at an early age as having special skills and received training, that began in early childhood, to enhance their gifts. They were all named Mary, or Miriam in Hebrew, to which a personal title, such a Mary Magdalene, Mary Egypt and Mary Salome, was ascribed. Every woman in this order wore a crimson veil except one, their leader, who wore black and was always referred to as Mother Mary.
The insights that I gleaned from my interest in these women, provided me with enough material to conduct a weekend workshop, which included both men and women, on how to experience the Feminine Divine within ourselves. A few years later, I did another workshop to honour the Masculine Divine.
As I settled back into the car and drove away from Jansen’s Kalahari Guest Farm, I felt a soothing voice say to me, “You have learned much over the last few days and we too would like to contribute something that we trust will add value to your knowledge”. This is what I was told:
“Unworthiness is the blight that holds the soul back from stepping into that which is their right. By feeling not good enough, never ready, always judging one’s self, the soul continues to tread the wheel of karma and return time after time to incarnate into a human body.”
Peace is only felt in the hub of the wheel of life, where the sum of the parts – all that soul’s life experiences – are held with acceptance, consciousness and balance. This place is devoid of judgements and feelings of not being good enough. The hub of you knows only gratitude as all knowledge is treasured.
Therefore, the Lover or Go(o)dman makes his or her own choice – to step back into the emanation of Christ/Sophia…or to return to a human body. There have been many souls who have been ready to take this vital step, but at the crucial moment of choice, believed that they did not deserve their place in the Cosmos. Are you ready…? Will those who read this be ready?”
DAY 24: RIVER LIFE RESORT
Over the seven-hour, energy sapping drive to our next stop, this information kept churning over and over in my mind. My propensity to judge was soon to be tested.
When, at last, we turned off the tar road onto the gravel, we were surprised to see a Road Closed sign. I had to laugh and wonder if that was directed at me. We only had two kilometres to travel on this piece of road, before we turned towards River Life Resort, so my intrepid and optimistic husband pushed onwards.
We turned onto a two-track rocky trail and, in time, came to a stop on a high hill that overlooked the farm below. Nursing the car and caravan down the gradient, Malcolm eventually got us to a farm gate to what looked like an abandoned farmhouse. Not a comforting thought as it was late afternoon and we had nowhere else to go.
In the distance we noticed a lady walking towards us. She introduced herself to Malcolm as the general house assistant, who told us that the owners had gone to visit their son in America and that the campsite was closed. We had a confirmed two-night booking there, that had obviously been overlooked. The campsite was dilapidated and strewn with baboon droppings. Dust and mud covered the derelict ablution…my judgement of this situation, upset my emotional equilibrium. I was not a happy camper. However, Ennastasia, did not abandon us, she quickly cleaned the doorless shower and toilet and, her husband, Joseph connected the water supply so that I could have a warm shower, which I enjoyed, despite the showerhead falling from above, missing my head and landing at my feet. Malcolm and I eventually spent this night, on the banks of an almost dry Fish River, enjoying the stars and, once the dog stopped barking, we also found the deep silence comforting.
We decided not to stay for a second night and chose to press on to our next stop, from where we would be able to cross the border back into South Africa a day earlier than planned. However, before departing, we strolled downriver to where the water was still visible. We enjoyed clambering on the smooth rocks and studied the craggy, tiered mountains that flaked thin, slate-like fragments above this pool of water.
Then it was time to hitch the caravan and retrace our way up the steep track to the top of the plateau. Malcolm, is a skilled driver and the car, our trustworthy Pajero, managed to pull the caravan up the steep incline with ease…while I gripped the door handle fairly tightly.
Once we arrived back in Simon’s Town and Malcolm was able to send the owners of River Life Resort an email, we learned that they had sadly been forced to sell their beloved property and took full responsibility for their oversight. We came to a very amicable agreement on how to settle the refund.
